Love 2.0: How to Fix Your Marriage, Part 1

This podcast episode of Hidden Brain features Shankar Vedanta interviewing psychologist James Cordova about the art and science of mending troubled relationships by focusing on acceptance rather than change. Cordova shares personal anecdotes and case studies from his clinical practice to illustrate how couples often get stuck in patterns of trying to change each other, leading to mutual recrimination and obstinacy. The episode explores the concept of perpetual issues in relationships, differences that are not amenable to change, and how couples can improve their emotional climate and collaborative skills by accepting these differences. Cordova introduces the idea of labeling relationship problems as an "it," externalizing the blame and fostering compassion. The episode also touches on the importance of recognizing and addressing the underlying needs and fears that drive conflict, using the metaphor of cacti and ferns to describe differing needs for interdependence and independence in relationships. A second part of the podcast features behavioral scientist Jan Jachimowicz answering listener questions about maintaining passion in life, addressing topics such as burnout, the role of routine, and cultural differences in expressing passion.