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First love can be immensely powerful; a profound and unforgetable journey that shapes who we are. It teaches us about intimacy, boundaries and heartbreak and as parents it challenges all of our skills and perceptions.

In this episode my daughter, Phoebe, offered to talk about her first experience; what it taught her, how it changed her, and what she thinks adults need to understand to support their teen; particularly one who is same sex attracted.

What I learned from our experience is that the most important thing is knowing your child is in a kind, honest, loving relationship.

Phoebe reflects on the problems with the long-distance aspect of her relationship, the struggle to gain assertiveness, and the eventual breakup. The conversation also touches on the role of social media, the importance of closure, and the growth Phoebe experienced as a result of her experiences.

TOP BREAK-UP TIPS:

Provide time and space for your teenager to process the breakup without pressure.
Avoid making judgmental comments about the ex-partner or trying to convince the teenager they are "better off".
Support your teenager in finding healthy coping mechanisms, such as focusing on personal goals and interests.
Encourage your teenager to set boundaries with the ex-partner, including unfollowing on social media, if needed for the healing process.
Recognize that the healing process after a first love breakup can take significant time, often 6 months or more.

ADVICE FROM THE LUNA APP:

Getting through a break up:

Give yourself space if needed; set boundaries that work for you
Stay engaged in fun hobbies and activities to distract yourself and make new connections
Prioritise self-care: eat well, exercise, sleep, and care for your mental health
Be patient; time is a healer
Keep a gratitude journal to focus on other positive aspects of your life
Talk to someone about your feelings, like a parent or guardian - they will have been there too!
Remember that healing takes time, and you'll find a great match in the future

How to break up with someone:

Reflect on your decision: take time to think about why you need to end the relationship and make sure it's the right decision for you
Speak to a parent: in a quiet moment, communicate how you’re feeling to a parent - they will able to offer personalised advice and support which prioritises your wellbeing
Prepare for their reaction: understand that everyone reacts differently to break ups. Be emotionally prepared for their response and ensure you're in a safe environment when you have this conversation 🗣
Be

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I don't have medical training so please seek the advice of a specialist if you're not coping.

My email is teenagersuntangled@gmail.com
And my website has a blog, searchable episodes, and ways to contact me:
www.teenagersuntangled.com

Find me on Substack Teenagersuntangled.substack.com
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You can reach Susie at www.amindful-life.co.uk

First love, breakups & LGBTQ. How to support your teen. 143

Parenting Teens Untangled - Realistic, science-backed teen & tween parenting advice